In my personal experience: physical assault in a relationship

 There are so many things that comes after a violent physical abuse in a relationship. I know this because I was recently in one . I must say I didn't handle it as well as I should have done.At first I was in denial because it is hard to believe that someone you actually love and who you actually thinks loves you can hit you over and over again. It is even harder when he blames his violence on you and I quote says"you asked for it".

I should have reported him and I tried but his a member of the law community and therefore knows how to  get away with it.He knew exactly how to lie and twist things to make it look like it was my fault. I guess I felt completely helpless and broken at the moment . I actually even tried to get him fired(not my greatest moment and I know now that was wrong) because don't be fooled their is no Justice for a lady when the police officers are  his friends.

Anyway back to the topic ,at first it is the shock and disbelief that this is happening to you.The confusion because you feel like you are blindfolded on a roller coaster and you can't really scream out for help and you have no idea where you are heading.In an instant you went from being a normal go happy girl to a victim of physical assault from your boyfriend.

It changes you but not immediately as you would like to think.Secondly ,comes the shame because you honestly feel ashamed about everything. Especially when the man continues to bash you with words and threaten you that there is nowhere you can take him .He was right , there was nothing I could do partly because I was confused and didn't handle it as well as I should . It doesn't help when he continues to refuse to take accept his part.He was the one that solely made the decision to not only hit you once but over and over again. I am glad that I know it's not my fault.That is a lame excuse to hit a woman .It is a cowardly way out .
The shame will break you down if you let it but thankfully I was finally able to get out of that and stopped blaming myself for his violent actions.Any lady who has been here will tell you that it is not easy to walk away .

Normally you think and tell yourself that if that were to happen , I would walk away after all he is just a boyfriend.The truth is ,it is hard especially if you truly love the other person.
After the shock, denial, shame it finally dawns on you that you were actually hurt physically by this man and anger and resentment kicks in . You start hating the other person and when that stops you begin hating yourself for being weak, for letting this happen to you and finally for loving that person.

You will feel weak and totally hopeless , you will relive that moment over and over again.See the slaps raining on your face  ,try to ponder what you could have done differently and for a while it will consume you.
I admit I was hurt and hurt people hurt people too but after everything I realized it is not up to me to fix the violence in some one.
Love doesn't mean you stand by and let someone disrespect you to that level.

All in all , you might have temporarily broken me but I rebuild myself and I am stronger than ever before.You might think you have won the fight because you were lucky to evade the consequences of your actions but deep down you will always know what you did . You can lie to your friends and family and everyone else but you will never lie to your self. Either way, I forgive you whether or not you apologize for the damage you did to me .

Finally the good news is you learn alot from that experience and you get to understand your self worth in a new light.You learn what to do and how to handle this situation properly.Once you accept that you were hit and hurt and deal with everything that follows you will begin to find your peace again.You will be able to smile again.

For the ladies who are still suffering in violent relationship, please save yourself , only you can do that.You are the only person who can make that decision that enough is enough.There are so many professionals you can trust and talk to to help you.
Don't continue to let him lay his hands on you like that again.Take control of your life .