Today I have some few words to tell you . One I will ask you a few questions and you can check yourself and answer them silently.Did I love you as you had asked for?
Did I respect you and value your opinions?
When you needed me was I not there?
Did I ever go out of my way to hurt you or be rude to you?
Take all the time you need to answer them honestly inside your heart. I realize I am not perfect but neither are you. I have flaws but I would like to think that I am more than my flaws and I have more great things to offer. I didn't expect you to be an Alejandro from a soap opera.No, I expected and accepted you as you were. I am disappointed that it took me along time to see this.
It is not alot for me to ask that you treat me with the same love, respect and care that I gave you. It is not alot to ask that you actually step up to be the man you said you want to be in my life.A relationship without communication is like running in the dark , you are bound to keep hitting rocks and fall. I didn't expect a hourly check up but you literally went radio silent.You kept saying I nag but did you for one second stop and ask yourself why . You said you want a relationship where we're friends as well as lovers how exactly did you plan to see that through if we can't even talk.
I am mad that I did my best and you didn't. I am mad that you asked me to love and stand by you then you left me standing alone. I am hurt that you expect me to be there for you but you couldn't do that for me. I actually did not ask for much ,all I was asking for is that you show a little initiative . Isn't that what a relationship is about.. being a team. I didn't need money or anything fancy , I just needed you to be there . Once in a while just chill with me or just go to church . Once in a while ask how I am.... just once in a while just make me feel special and I matter to you.Just say a joke and make me smile or just hold me and say you love me.That was all I ever wanted just a once in a while.
You didn't allow me that and now I see that maybe I was wrong in loving you. I guess this is the time to say goodbye. I just want you to know that had you just shown up even once and showed me that you cared , I think we would have been happy. I really wanted to be your peace not your stress but if you keep fighting me how am I supposed to do that?
I loved you, every part of you...both the good and the bad . You were stuck on my one flaw which you actually triggered. I am not blaming you, I am just saying I wish you tried to love and treat me right. You know I tried my best , I will always love you but I won't force you to step up and I have no choice but to walk away. I hold nothing against you.
I should thank you because I now know how to be stronger and in my next relationship I believe I would make a great partner. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for. I'm sorry if I did ever hurt you.You are now officially somebody that I used to know.
Part four
I'm happy now , I no longer have the urge to call or text you. Yes I miss you sometimes but I am fine without you. I actually went back to my normal routine before you came along.This time though I plan to make sure I don't love someone who doesn't love me back.
I picture a man who will appreciate me and not hurt me by treating me like an option. I close my eyes sometimes and I picture myself cooking him meals, ironing his shirt , making sure he looks good and catering for him like a king.Loving him hard all night long, he will be a happy man that I can assure you. I think I will be happy too ..
I don't plan to make the same mistakes I did with you. I will not
stick around even when I am given every reason to leave. I will not stick around and let someone play with my heart just because I love him.I will not respect a man who can't treat a woman right or swallow his ego. I won't let a man treat me like an option. I have a lot to give and I won't waste it on a man who takes me for granted. I'm glad am actually moving on.
So here is a toast to the next chapter ,may it be a peaceful , drama free , love filled chapter.
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