1: They must be of loose character
This
always annoys me ,just because a girl has a kid in her early twenties doesn’t
mean that she is a slut .This is the age most girls actually fall in love or
think they are in love and naturally
they want to be with the guy who evoked
those feelings in them. It might even be just one boy who pretends to be a
gentleman only to turn out to be just another dead beat irresponsible man .She
gets pregnant and decides to keep the child and learn her lesson .I believe
she is much better off than the girl who decides to abort and never learns her lesson.
She is not going around putting it out for any man who comes along. There is no
need to slut-shame her and use her as some
bad influence referral point in your village .She is just a girl who
owned up to her mistake …let it go…
2:No/Hopeless future
As
soon as you have a kid in your early twenties apparently your life is over and
next comes your social suicide and burial .People have painted this picture
whereby early pregnancy is like a curse .These young girls have a bright future ahead of them ,their lives are not over .Any
one of these girls can decide to be there for their kids and still pursue their
dreams if anything there is no motivation better than that desire to be able to
give your kid a better life and prove all the naysayers wrong .Life will go on
and as long as you desire to be better not even a pregnancy can stop you, yes…it
will slow you down a little but trust me you will still get there.
3: Lead a boring life
OK
,I know this may sound crazy but it is the truth once you become a mom it
becomes all about your kid .You may not love the changing diapers and you
certainly won’t enjoy it when the kid burp on your blouse but the rest of
motherhood is enjoyable. Your kid becomes your best friend and you won’t even realize how fast the kid grows up. Every new thing the kid does will fascinate
and warm your heart with pride .I would honestly take that rather than a
hangover any day. Sometimes we may want to unwind and we make time for it .It
is all about planning some free time to yourself and getting to relax
.Motherhood is not some succubus monster that sucks all the fun in your life on
the contrary it just gives you more joy and pride in your heart.
4:Can’t be good enough to be married.
Young single mothers are often criticized a lot when they decide they
want to start dating and have a shot at finding love. I once heard a woman who
said that the problem with the young single mothers is they are good at
stealing other women husbands and being mistresses. If you happen to get a good
man who accepts your kid and marries you , the man is questioned if he is
surely sane and the in laws make it their mission to remind you that you are
damaged goods .Apparently being a single mom cancels out all your chances at
true love and you are doomed to be a bitter woman who ends up knitting and rearing cats .God forbid that you want to
get married in a church then the pastors pile up on your stigma and sometimes
even refuse to wed you. The stigma should stop ,being a single mom
doesn’t make one a bad woman and it doesn’t dwindle your chances of future
marital bliss just find a good loving man who loves and accepts you as you are,
that’s what true love is all about.
5: Must be from a broken home
Not every single mother out there comes from broken homes, sometimes
things just happen and you find yourself as a young single mother .Sometimes
the man walks out or worse he dies and sometimes the relationship doesn’t
really work and it is just better to raise your kid alone than have an
irresponsible man co-parenting with you. Even if the single mom comes from a
broken family it doesn’t mean she was raised badly, it does not give anyone a
right to blame her mom who raised her alone through a lot of hard work and
heartache .No woman sets out to be a single mom and when it happens she just
has to pull herself together,get a support system and do
the best for her kid .
All in all I think the problem is the men
.No one ever asks why the man responsible left instead we heap the blame and
the stigma on these young women and just pat the man on the back. Society has
made these young women feel ashamed and some have even go as far as to make
them outcasts. Just remember at one point they decided to do the right thing
unlike most of their peers who just chose the abort option and gladly move on
with life forgetting they just murdered someone .Don’t be too quick to drive
these girls mad with depression at least be kind and if you can’t just don’t go
out of your way to be horrible or to stigmatize them.
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